I was talking the other day about how I always feel like one day somebody will find me out. It will suddenly be discovered that despite my experience and achievements both as a dancer and a teacher I can't dance. I have no technique. I'm rubbish at my job. Or some other thing. Someone might question something I've done, and I won't have an answer other than "I just felt it instinctively", which is only really an answer in a dancers' world.
I'd had this conversation with my mother some time ago and she (a teacher herself) assured me that that this feeling in itself was exactly why I was good at my job.
Out of the blue, a dear friend sent me a clip from YouTube. He was completely oblivious to my previous conversations. Here is the link: Success and Failure . It's a speech Neil Gaiman gave at the University of the Arts to the class of 2012. Within this speech he says, amongst many other things:
"...The problems of success can be harder. Because no-one warns you about them. The first problem of any kind of even limited success is the unshakable conviction that you are getting away with something and any moment now they will discover you. It's impostor syndrome... "The fraud police"...would be there to tell me it was all over and they'd caught up with me and now I would have to go out and get a real job...and not make things up anymore..."
I also noticed this blog post from Alan whilst I was reading today - Developing Professionalism and smiled to myself at how both Alan and Mr Gaiman had chosen to conclude their thoughts.
This speech reassured me, and let me believe it's okay not to have all the answers. I hope you find time to watch it. I hope it does the same for you.
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